i erased all the logs, i deleted all the pictures
i don't want to miss anything..
i don't want to remember everything..

i have my own life now
and so are you.

so, goodbye (again)
and i'll stop writing..

so long, my friends

it cures me when i'm down

so what happen?
am i too tired to make some things going right or it just you who don't try to understand me?
my life's not suck, but for you it's true.

well, let's forget it then.
finally i'm going to go university again! well, not in a high reputation government university though (but, hey who cares?), just a new university which built by a very well-known entrepreneur, Ir. Ciputra, that named University Ciputra.

you may not believe it, but UC even didn't have any graduated students yet! but their programs and the mission for their students is different and.. great. yeah, great..
but back again, it depend on our willingness to make a step forward.. but still, this university is great! haha (idk what to say.. :P)

so from now on, i should saying goodbye to our friends in Malaysia that i always love :). It's hard to know it, really.. though 2 years is not so a long time for us to know each other, but for me to some peoples there who i really loves, it's very hard for me to left it behind.

but, thanks for everything anyway. so goodbye for some friends who i think we'll never meet again (or maybe a very long goodbye), and see you again for some friends who live near with my city!

so i'll keep it simple, stupid!

...and i even have no reason to get angry to you

cool~

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Commitment
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Being Alone
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

thanks to arienaa~

sby

my life's already changed guys. haha well, now i'm going back to surabaya. after my appeal letter for terminated got rejected and my visa's expired, so i (honestly, me and my parents) decided to go back to Surabaya until a chance for going back to study in Malaysia is open again. So until then, i will not doing anything and waiting for the result, fyi, i re-appeal for my terminated case.

lately, i feel like i'm going to be the retarded person in this world. why? it's almost 2 weeks and i have nothing to do. huh, it's like i was bitten by zombie and after that transform to a zombie which is always walking around and have no direction until someone shot them in their brain! *sigh*

well, i think that's all. i wont wrote about this topic, really.. there is nothing good from writing about do nothing. ;p

see ya.

James Wendt - Love is Glowing

think i'm bigger than i used to be
oh, love is glowing up
there's another world to know out there
oh, love is glowing up

i was afraid to say "hello"
'cause i was just as scared to say "goodbye"

found and lost so many dreams
and some i still believe in others
i let walk away
times i laughed and felt so free
and times i felt so little
the sudden highs and misery,
that is what you gave me

life is bigger than it used to be
oh, love is glowing up
you know, there's another world to see out there
oh, love is glowing up

because of you i can believe
we gave each other what we truly need
i have you and you have him and
he has her and really
that's the way that it should be

just like clovers in the field
mix with the weeds and flowers
the pain and peace collectively

found and lost so many dreams then
some we still believe in
others we let walk away

roads will swallow and divide us
just think of each other
together, moving separately
alone is just a feeling

love is glowing up
love is glowing up
love is glowing up..

sorry if you found some mistakes, because i didn't found this lyrics in Google, so i attempted to write it. :D (and because i saw someone in YouTube is searching for this lyrics too. :D)

i'm death! (ohh.. drama again)

it's been a while uh.
well, i really want to post some of the things that happened here. But, i got a problem with "how to write a stories?" (and in English too, duh).
besides, nothing special is happened in this last 2 weeks. Well, my life's gone flat. Nothing happen, just went to my friend's house, have a dinner, playing guitar, facebook, browsing or surfing or whatever and the point is i'm wasted in here! and you guys should know that now i even can talk "yeahh, i hate to go to sleep!" lol

By the way, what you guys usually do when you had nothing to do in your life for a month?
will you buying sleeping pills and swallow it and after that you sleep until in the end of the month?
or will you go to some where nice, so you could do refreshing or do whatever you wants there?
or will you just put your ass in front of you computer and playing facebook until you grow older??
hahahaha, i choose the last one. looks nice uh. LOL

ah, i think that's all. i have to go to sleep right now.
i promise to deli (my childhood friend) that we'll have a chat in the morning!-guys, IT"S MORNING ALREADY!-
well.. good morning then.

see ya

you?

LOL you just made a wrong assumption about me, dear.

I know i'm still in love with you, but after read your message from you about me..

I laughed so hard and i cried

why the fuck you wrote a message to me like that? it hurts me more and more you know.

Damn!

Well, but thanks.. after i read it, i hate you so damn much!

LOL

f*

I need some place to be alone. Yeah, you know.. like what most drama movies do: sitting and wasting time on the shore, walking alone in the crowd and stop taxi and go anywhere.. and let this head let off some big things that just happened. But now I'm stuck in here, I hate to go to my home and i hate to stay in this city. If only i had a lot of money, I'll rent a boat and go to the middle of ocean and stay in there.. yes, staying.. not swimming not doing anything. 

Isn't it nice? What if there's a storm coming? I don't care, i wouldn't move.

Damn, what the fuck am i doing here? I need to do regression, but i couldn't. 

I need to go out from this hell! Forever, if i could..

Hell, tell me where i MUST go?

..to come in this place it's my very big mistakes

at least i'm trying!

You look great today, dear
your hair, your face, your eyes..
really, I love whatever you wears and whatever your looks..
and now my eyes can't get off you..

I was promised will stop look at you after 3 seconds..
I broke it, i can't stop to see you until 10 seconds..
and after that..


I promise again, i'll not going to miss you..
anymore..

Yes dear, too much loving you will kill myself..

May with A in the end

I tried to forget everything

from the first day our eyes met in front of ISSU room

from the first time i talk to my friends that i want to know more about you

from the first time i ask for a date to see around this city together with you

from the first time i hardly can't believe that i fall in love with you..

Now, I realized that those memories always give me so much pain

You are the star when you left me a big scar, darling

I even hate to have a dinner at 3 o'clock

I even hate to see a picture of a bonquet of flowers

I even hate to come into this city!

You just successfully teared me down..

If only i could get mad at you..

I kept the histories from our chat in MSN

I always smile you know, until i came into 12 january 2009..

I always tried to be strong, but you always haunted me!

Damn, Just please give me the reason..

So i can let you go..

Every night i hear the same song on my iPod

and i wish i could dream of you

Because only dream is the place where i can see you

Just like i knew you in december..

December

Did you hear my heart calling out your name?

My December..

the worse is yet coming

Thanks to Allah SWT for woke me up from this nightmare

I realized that every problems which happen to people is always have its own way to be solved. I know that not every problems can be solved, but i believe that bad or good the result is.. don't let ever yourself down. 

Hah, if only i realized those words from a long time ago. I might not so down like this, but i believe this is for my own good. And yeah, i should have feeling so alive right now. ;D

Umm.. Tomorrow is monday, means new trimester are coming. I'm very excited to know that i must going to campus to study (again). And my hands are ready to write all the things which whatever my lecture's going to write there tomorrow at class. Ohh, i'm like a 5-years-old kid that waiting to begin their days at school! But i remember one thing!

i didn't have a proper clothes to go to class! DAMN! 

I don't know where the hell is my clothes?! Every time i go to melaka, i lose one or two pieces of my clothes (and pants)! stupid me. Well, i should call my mom soon to ask for a money to buy those things. :D

And by the way, i forget to thanks to all of my big family in here and my best friends for all the supports! Sorry if i was soooo damnnnn stupiiid! I thanks God i met you all. You are irreplaceable. hehe I'll keep moving, though i didn't really sure that i could get trough all of these nightmares. But I'm sure, whatever the result is.. I'll keep moving on and you'll never leave me alone. God bless you all. ;)

Thanks for everything,

Angga, Arien, Rara, Cecep, Acy, Cidul, Aripah, Vidi, Acang, Pak Henry, Sorong, Bundo, Unggul, Aci, Reza jek, Jawir, Mahadi, Very, Jepoy, Bang Zaidi, Bang Hasni, Tante Ida, ERU's cyber and melaka staff, and OSC Staff for all the help.. and special thanks to Mom and Dad for all the patiences, prayers, and loves.

I'll not going to waste my time and let my self down anymore. I really thank you all, Allah Bless you all, guys. 

a help from my friend

January 30, 2009

Head Unit of
Exam and Record Unit
Multimedia University
Cyberjaya Campus

I, Achmad Zulfikar Ramadhani, with ID number 1061100417 from Faculty of Information Technology would like to appeal to go back study in MMU while my student status is considered terminated.

The reason for my tardy appeal letter is due to the fact that I was unaware of the termination of my student status. On July 2008, I appealed for a Leave of Absence, which was approved,
and my status remained as active. In the third trimester, Trimester 3 2008/2009, while I logged on to the online system to register for the next trimester, I found out that my status has been changed from Leave of Absence to Terminated.

When I attempted to appeal the reactivation of my student status in MMU Melaka, i was advised to appeal to MMU Cyberjaya instead because all the relevant records needed are in Cyberjaya.

I really hope you can help me and reconsider my status here.

My Pray

I know i was wrong for all this year, i realized i was so damn stupid to live this life.
But, Ya Allah.. I Nadzar for a month if i could get through from all of these problems without having to go home.. I promise..

For whoever read this, please pray for me..
I only got 3 days left to fix all of the mistakes that i had done before..

Please..


why when it comes to an end, i even can't crying?

it doesn't matter for you to hear my sigh, aite?

Hello World..

Well, this is my second posts by the way! lol, but right now i didn't feel so good. ;(
i don't know why, but really.. is it a matters for some peoples when i want to be alone for some times? If it yes, then i don't get it..

Lately, i missed out this holiday. From the word "Holiday", we are all know that it must be a having-fun time or relax or whatever, rite? But me? I did not feel like this holiday i could shout at myself "i'm free now, so i want to make myself have fun and do something that could bring me back to the state of no-sadness-no-job moments!".. still, i got stressed out for some things. I hate it..

I know, in this holiday also could be the moment where people wants to figure out or make clear some mistakes or some problems that they had made. So they could focus more without being afraid of getting busier with the works that they had to do. But, sometimes i always asked to myself why every holidays i never got sometimes to let myself enjoy it? It just the same holy-die like before.. Seeing myself falling deeper and sinking on my own ocean.

To be honest, right now i feel i'm alone. I could't even share all my problems with my friends. I don't know, i thought that it could be better this way. But the truth is, I REALLY WANTED SOMEONE WHO COULD UNDERSTAND ME! Not only hear all my daily complaints or grambles about something or stories that's happened even for a second ago, but would understand what i feel at that time, can calm myself down, can cheers myself up, or yeah.. the point is the one who can take me as i am.

Those dream aren't so high right?

1st not last

hello world

Well, this is my first blog. I just registered it and well, i don't know what I'm going to write in here. It seems like blogging had a lot of funs (after seeing some friends who is a blogger also).

But really, i had no idea for my first post whereas the other next posts. Maybe I'd write a journal of my daily life first, then I'll going to post something that i think.. it's useful. Haha

By the way, i hate the looking of blogger's interface dashboard. It looks.. so damn boring. Why don't they make it more colourful uh? lol it doesn't important, but i think with a nice looking of the dashboard will resulting some peoples to relax while they are writing and giving them some idea. Ah, i don't know.. ;p

Well, i think it's enough for the opening post. I'll going to write here something, soon. ;D

Nite y'all.